Expert Relationship Advice: When to Sleep Over

Cupid's Pulse Article: Expert Relationship Advice: When to Sleep Over

Happy relationship. Photo: Subbotina Anna / Bigstock.com

By Megan Weks

When to sleep with someone is a personal decision; it must be considered for each specific situation. However, before you decide, influenced by him as the external factor, an internal overview is always the first consideration.

Consider the expert relationship advice below:

Many great loves that have begun with an immediate naked, giddy romp have turned into serious relationships and lasting love stories. You may even know a couple who started off this way. Even so, I’m going to offer some expert relationship advice for you to think about before making the fateful decision to jump into the sack.

Being single can be tiresome. Our bodies ache and yearn for closeness. The discomfort of pulling yourself together after work to be date-ready, skipping workouts, and spending money on clothes and cabs, only to have to face an unknown person who decides whether you’re a yes or a no, can be a process of grueling anxiety.

Related Link: Dating Advice: When Should I Sleep with a Guy?

It’s easier to slip into your comfy stretch pants and dive onto your warm, cozy couch for some yummy snuggles with the hot-blooded male specimen standing before you. You crave to feel a warm touch or a tickle on your back and perhaps gentle cheek kisses. Ahhh. The delicious comfort of a relationship! The urgency to advance quickly into this stage has many of us skipping the necessary qualifying steps that, ideally, come before committing to an exclusive relationship.

There are two ways to approach the intimacy process in a new relationship. The first is to dive right in, learn about the guy’s intentions and goals, and hope that the relationship falls into place (keeping in mind that his words don’t necessarily determine his intentions — only time and consistency will reveal his true intentions). If you take this approach, you’ll be making relationship decisions after the physical bond has been formed. Even if this man is not right for you on multiple other planes, you’ll have to determine that while feeling physically attached to him! Therefore, your body will be yearning for closeness with him, while you’re still trying to figure out if he wants what you want, has similar values, and so on.

After having sex, it’s proven that your brain makes cloudy (hormone-influenced) decisions about the person to whom you are attached. This is how we end up in time-consuming “mini-relationships,” often followed by painful “mini-break-ups.”

Do you have relationships that begin hot and heavy and then start to taper off and fade away? Do you have a hard time getting serious interest from men? Have you not had a serious relationship in longer than you would care to admit? If so, I want to stress this second approach to the intimacy process: Take your time to get to know a guy over two to three months before the sleepover. The process where you learn about one another slowly, without exclusivity and without sex, is what I call The Exploratory Phase of the relationship. If you include this phase in your dating process, you will decrease your number of sexual partners and increase the likelihood that your relationship will stand the test of time.

Even naturals at love can still fall prey and find themselves mired in many time-consuming :miniature-serious” relationships. You see, when you dive in head first, you put yourself in a position I call Lay and Pray. This is when the physical part of the relationship occurs before the actual relationship. A woman who gets caught up in Lay and Pray is telling herself that she can handle it and that she’s going to remain cool while things fall into place. Sound familiar? However, in this place of uncertainty, she’s feeling uneasy, seeking for answers or clues to help her define what’s happening with the relationship.

Related Link: Expert Relationship Advice: How I Used a Manfunnel to Meet My Dream Husband

Even if what she is experiencing with him is not ideal, she’s not exploring other options because she feels attached and is not interested in seeking out other possibilities. Women whom I define as naturals at love might still have a decent ROI (return on investment) with this method of dating because the naturals usually have a better feeling about the men who are coming into their lives. This means that, since they are making overall healthier choices when it comes to men, they will have a higher ROI in their dating process. Even though a woman may be able to jump into bed and have a chance of that turning into a solid relationship, she still needs to consider her goals, her health, and the time investment she is willing to put into having multiple “mini-serious” relationships.

Keep in mind that if he’s the right man for you, you’ll likely have the rest of your life to enjoy him, both in bed and on the couch. Either way, happy humping!

For more information about dating expert Megan Weks, visit her website at www.meganweks.com. For more expert relationship advice articles from Megan, click here

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Dating Advice: Times Women Say ‘Yes,’ But Shouldn’t


On this week’s episode of Single in Stilettos, founder and matchmaker Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship expert Duana Welch to offer their best dating advice on how to stand firm on your beliefs. Find out how you can say no to things you don’t want without losing his affection with the following dating tips!

Dating advice that will save you from making a mistake.


1. Don’t agree to hang out. You need to show a man how you want to be treated by setting standards. Only say yes when he asks you out on a proper date. Reject all requests that are optional or casual hang outs like “Netflix and Chill.” A man that wants you will get the hint and put in the effort for chase. So keep yourself busy until he puts in the work, and only make yourself available for real dates.

Related Link: Dating Advice: What to Do When He Says, ‘I’m Not in Love With You!

2. Say yes to fun. Happy couples have more positive interactions than they do negative. Take time to enjoy your time together or else your relationship is doomed to fail. Also try to avoid gridlock, meaning your problems never get solved. If you only get what you want with a threat, it’s never going to work. You have to care about each other’s happiness.

Related Link: Dating Advice: How to Tell Him You’re Not Ready to Have Sex?

3. Ask if it’s worth it. At some point in the relationship there will be a betrayal. One person will have expectations that aren’t met in a serious manner. If you decide you want to salvage what you have together, you need to ask yourself if it’s worth the effort before saying yes. You may just realize that it’s not and save yourself from wasted time.

For more relationship advice videos and additional information Single in Stilettos show, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Dating Advice: How to Tell Him You’re Not Ready to Have Sex?

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On this week’s episode of Single in Stilettos, founder and matchmaker Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship expert Tinzley Bradford to offer their best dating advice on telling a man you’re not ready for sex. Find out how you can tell him without losing his affection with the following dating tips!

Dating advice that will help you say no means no!


1. Tell him. You just need to be honest about how you’re feeling. Whether it’s due to a spiritual reason, or wanting to take things slow, you have to be open about why you don’t want to have sex. If you don’t, the man you’re with may think you’re not attracted to him. So tell him how you feel before a misunderstanding occurs.

Related Link: Dating Advice: 4 Ways To Make Your Man Happy!

2. Be careful. If you go out with him and you know you’re not interested in having sex, you need to prevent yourself from entering awkward situations or temptation. This means you may have to decline invitations to spend the night. There’s no reason to put yourself in an intimate position if you don’t want to go all the way.

Related Link: Dating Advice: Dealing With a Dating Burnout

3. Find out. Aside from being honest with a man, you need to find out his intentions for yourself. Ask him how he feels about you not wanting to have sex. This will help you weed out the men who only see you as a booty call. A man that’s really interested in getting to know you will put in the effort regardless of sex.

For more relationship advice videos and additional information Single in Stilettos show, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Dating Advice: 4 Ways To Make Your Man Happy!

On this week’s episode of Single in Stilettos, founder and matchmaker Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship expert Robert Manni to offer their best dating advice on ensuring your man’s happiness. Find out how you can have an amazing relationship with the following dating tips!

Dating advice that will help you keep your man happy.

1. Men are visual! Whether you like it or not, men are highly in tune with their visual and sexual side. For this reason, a man is happy when you keep up your appearance and the sex life is fresh. This shouldn’t be one-sided however, make sure your man shows you the same courtesy. Just keep up the momentum like it’s a new and exciting relationship.

Related Link: Dating Advice: Maximize Your Online Profile to Attract the Right Man

2. Keep it simple. Try to engage your man’s simpler side. You don’t have to cook or dote on him. You just have to spend time with him and partake in his interests from time to time. Whether that’s sitting home and drinking or going to his favorite restaurant. It doesn’t hurt to share your passions, especially when good food is involved. Who doesn’t like to eat?

Related Link: Dating Advice: Dealing With a Dating Burnout

3. Be supportive. A man needs you to be there for him emotionally, physically and even when he’s pursuing a career. Life is stressful enough, so it’s great to have a partner by your side and vice versa. Find out your man’s dreams, learn about him and find a way to get behind that so you can help him achieve these desires. It means a lot to support a man on his journey.

Related Link: Dating Advice: The 5 Stages of Love and Why Many Stop at Stage 3

4. Learn to forgive. Nobody is perfect, so it’s important to give the benefit of the doubt when things go wrong. Just like you, men make mistakes. For this reason you need to know how to forgive. This doesn’t mean you have to excuse something big like infidelity, but men need guidance to be the best version of themselves. He’ll stumble and fall sometimes, but you can pick him up and make things better.

For more relationship advice videos and additional information Single in Stilettos show, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Dating Advice: Maximize Your Online Profile to Attract the Right Man

On this week’s episode of Single in Stilettos, founder and matchmaker Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship expert PJ Dixon to offer their best dating advice on creating an eye-catching online profile that will attract any man on the dating scene. Find out how you can adjust your single status with the following dating tips!

Dating advice on maximizing your online profile to find a man.

1. Name your wants. Your profile statement should not just be about you, but it should also list the kind of partner you’re looking for.  The statement should have conditions, provide details on what kind of action you want a date to take and clarify your reasoning for wanting these traits. At the end, you can include additional information so a man can get a better idea of who you are.

Related Link: Dating Advice: Dealing With a Dating Burnout

2. Add a point of contact Going out on a limb and contacting a stranger on the internet for a date can be a daunting task, so make it easy for a man to reach you by providing a point of contact on your profile. This gets rid of some of the awkwardness in the early stages of dating and allows you both to jump right in and get to know each other. Whether it be a phone number or email, just add something so potential suitors know you’re a real person.

 Related Link: Dating Advice: Signs You’re Settling for the Wrong Man

3.  Pictures are important. Select about three or four photos where you look your best to add to your dating profile. Try to diversify your images to show your personality and attract the right man. Outdoor shots are good, but make sure you add front-on  and dressy pictures that complement your figure. Casual shots with friends also don’t hurt, but be aware that men are visual and may have wandering eyes for your good-looking friends.

For more relationship advice videos and additional information Single in Stilettos show, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Dating Advice: Dealing With a Dating Burnout

On this week’s episode of Single in Stilettos, founder and matchmaker Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship expert Duana Welch to offer their best dating advice on getting through a romantic burnout in the dating scene. Find out how you can fix your single status with the following dating tips!

Dating advice on dealing with a romantic dry spell.

1. Practice self-compassion. Don’t be too hard on yourself! It is normal to have a lull in your romantic life. You don’t have to date all the time or make yourself feel bad about it. What you need to do is recognize your burnout and address how you can improve your love life without giving up. You need to stay positive about things.

Related Link: Dating Advice: The 5 Stages of Love and Why Many Stop at Stage 3

2. Challenge negative thoughts. If you ever fell pessimistic about your dating options, you need to oppose those dark sentiments. Looking for love is normal, it’s not desperate or accidental. Majority of people want love in their lives, and you shouldn’t be ashamed of wanting it too. Don’t undermine your chances.

Related Link: Dating Advice: How Long Should You Date Around, After You Meet a Man You Like?

3. Just do it. Even if you feel tired, you need to just put effort in. Sure, life is hard and so is dating, but you can’t quit. When you’re not having luck finding a job, you don’t just give up. You do everything in your power to find employment. That same energy needs to be put in to find the right partner, which will hopefully last longer anyway.

For more relationship advice videos and additional information Single in Stilettos show, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.18

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Dating Advice: 5 Reasons You Should Consider Hiring A Professional Profile Writer

Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice: 5 Reasons You Should Consider Hiring A Professional Profile Writer

Professionals. Photo: Goodluz / Bigstock.com

By Joshua Pompey

Over the past 10 years as a relationship expert, I’ve written a whole lot of dating profiles. From teachers, to doctors, to CEOs, and even best selling authors, I’ve had the pleasure of helping people from all walks of life. And while most of the people I’ve worked with are intelligent, well-rounded, and perfectly capable people, it wasn’t until they outsourced a professional profile writer that they will able to find true online dating success. If you’ve been having less than stellar results online, or are even just beginning, I would strongly urge you to consider hiring a professional profile writer of your own. Here are five pieces of dating advice as to why.

Dating advice that will improve your odds on the field.


1. Online dating is a unique language: Remember when I said I wrote profiles for a couple best selling authors? Well I’ve also written a whole lot of online dating profiles for English professors, journalists, English teachers, and various other careers that specialize in writing. Most of these people possessed overall writing skills that were far superior than mine, but online dating is a different kind of language that requires a unique skill set. I may not be able to decipher Shakespeare on the same level or create meaningful poetry, but when it comes to online dating profiles, I bring much more to the table. Everything is relative.

Related Link: Dating Advice: How to Make the First Move (Women’s Edition)

2. Professional profile writers have seen it all: Suppose you wanted to lose weight and are going to the gym for the first time. Or maybe you’ve been trying to lose weight for six months and your results have been rather mediocre. Who is more equipped to take you to the next level. You, or a professional trainer who has been helping clients to meet their goals for years? This is what you need to think about before you spend months, or even years with a profile that has not been looked at with a professional set of eyes. By hiring the best of the best, you are allowing yourself to chase your goals with the highest chance of success.

Related Link: Dating Advice: 4 Reasons Younger Women In The City Struggle To Forge Meaningful Relationships

3. A profile writer can easily spot red flags: One of the biggest reasons men and women fail at online dating is because they unintentionally write statements that scare people away. Something as little as the wrong word choice, accidentally appearing desperate, or sending the wrong signal about yourself can destroy an otherwise perfect profile. A professional profile writer can spot these types of mistakes in a split second, saving you the unfortunate situation of being ignored without knowing why and improve your date night chances.

Related Link: Dating Advice: 5 Online Dating Photos That Will Instantly Up Your Profile Game

4. A professional online dating profile writer will not be biased: When someone hires me, it’s my job to give them a little tough love from time to time. Friends and family often try to be nice, or maybe they just don’t know any better so they don’t say anything critical. And you yourself might be your own worst enemy, as it’s hard to objectively critique ones own work. But with a professional? You are going to get it straight, and you’ll receive the tough love you need to achieve your goals. The dating tips you receive from  a professional profile writer will be like none other.

Related Link: Dating Advice: 3 Online Dating Trends to Watch Out For In the New Year

5. Their reputation depends on your success Every single time I write a profile, I know that my name has its stamp on that profile. My future success depends on your current success, which creates a tremendous incentive to create the best possible profiles for people who expect top quality work. In the age of the internet where people can write reviews and provide feedback on everything, a professional who wants to stay in business long term will definitely put his or her all into doing right by you.

Joshua Pompey is an online dating expert, helping men and women to find love since 2009. For more information how to have your perfect profile created, men learn more here, women learn more here .

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