Relationship Advice for the Guys: How to Approach a Woman You’re Interested In

By David Wygant

One of the biggest problems for men today is that they suffer from a made-up disease called Approach Anxiety. I keep waiting to see commercials during football games from a major drug manufacturer. It would start like this: a man staring at a woman who is staring at her phone. The man would be thinking about what to say. The woman would still be standing there, checking her Facebook feed or re-reading a text. You can substitute any of the details for this situation because, wherever women go, they’re staring at their phones. It’s their safety blanket, their virtual crutch. It may be annoying, but it still doesn’t give the men a reason not to go and talk them.

Unfortunately, most men will be in this situation and say, “I really wanted to talk to this woman, but she was too busy on her phone.” Women will always have their phone. It’s the way they protect themselves, which means that men have to learn to conquer their Approach Anxiety.

Relationship Advice on Approaching Women from Relationship Expert David Wygant

Related Link: Relationship Advice: When’s the Right Time to Pop the Question (Marriage)?

If you suffer from Approach Anxiety, try this new pill. If you are always trying to think of the right thing to say, then you need to take Approach No More. Now, the side effects may be substantial. You may itch. You may have a chronic stomachache. You may have heart palpitations, but at least you’ll be able to go talk to a woman.

Honestly, I find the whole thing super silly. My relationship advice is to remember that you’re just strangers passing each other during the day. It’s so easy to start a conversation based on whatever is going on in the moment. I call it the power of observation.

Observe what a woman is doing and make a comment on it so you are jumping into her world. For instance, if she’s at Starbucks and ordering a drink you’ve never had, say something like, “I’ve never had that here. Is it good? Is it your favorite?”

Men are always looking for opening lines. Opening lines are the biggest con in the world. Speak, talk, say anything, be human. Talk to a woman like you would talk to a regular person, and stop treating her like she’s ET’s sister. That’s how you approach a woman you’re interested in. Remember that you’re not truly interested in her until you get to know her.

Related Link: Relationship Advice for Guys: Why Is It So Hard to Date? 

So how do you get to know her? You must talk to her. Communicate with her. Speak to her. Talk to her like you would anybody else. In my 20 years of being a relationship expert and helping men and women understand each other, I basically have told men the same thing over and over again: Stop worrying so much about what you say and just say anything. Realize women are more open than you think. They’ll put the phone down if you come and talk to them, if you’re confident about what you say, if you speak to them like you would an old friend. But if you go over there and try to say something clever that’s really not clever, if you say something stupid that you’ve seen on the Internet, or if you’re just shaking in your pants because you’re so afraid to talk to her, she’s going to feel that energy and want to run.

The only way you make a woman interested in you is if you treat her as you treat anybody else, and it’s something that I do all the time. This dating advice works. The problem is that men have been marketed to death and made to believe that they need to do something so spectacular. Try talking to her about what’s going on in the moment and listen to what she has to say. Just treat her like a human being.

David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship expert, author of the book Naked, and speaker. Through his boot camps, personal coaching, and his website, his love advice has transformed the relationships and love of hundreds of thousands of people from every corner of the globe. 

For more expert relationship advice from David, click here.

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Love & Libations: Heat Up Your Relationship with a Date Night in the Kitchen

Cupid's Pulse Article: Love & Libations: Heat Up Your Relationship with a Date Night in the Kitchen

Couple cooking. Photo: Poznyakov / Bigstock.com

by Yolanda Shoshana

Preparing a nice home-cooked meal on a date night with your partner is one of the sexiest things that you can do together. It’s also important to pair your food with the right spirit or wine. There are some celebrity chefs who have the perfect libations to add a sensual touch to your dinner table.

Ideas for Date Nights at Home

If you are a foodie, you have probably already gone to an Alain Ducasse restaurant. The celebrity chef has around 19 Michelin stars under his belt. Ducasse partnered with Grey Goose to create the first gastronomy vodka called Grey Goose Interpreted by Ducasse. Basically, the vodka was made to pair with food. Since it has notes of coffee, chocolate, and vanilla, it would be great to pair with something from the slow cooker on a night that you and your partner plan to stay in. It would be particularly wonderful with a mole sauce.

Related Link: Romantic Cocktails for Winter Date Nights

If anyone should be in the libation business, it’s Martha Stewart: She shows us how to cook and entertain better than anyone. She finally got into the wine game by creating a wine club with some of her favorite picks. Joining the club could be a great way for you and your boo to plan your meal based on wines from around the world. Stewart has plenty of aphrodisiac recipes available to whip up that can go with your wine choice. Don’t forget to try new dishes! It adds to the excitement.

If you are into Italian wines, then chef Lidia Bastianich has the right wine for you. Besides hosting a television show, Bastianich is a restaurateur mainly on the East Coast, but she has a spot in Kansas City too. She founded the Bastianich Winery in 1997 in the Friuli-Venezia Giulia area of Italy. Since she has various cookbooks, you and your partner could select one of her recipes and pair it with one of her wines. If white wine is your choice, the Bastianich Vespa Bianco would be great with fish. On the flipside, the Bastianich Vespa Rosso is the perfect selection for a red sauce dish — and just because red wine is sexy.

Related Link: Date Night Ideas Inspired by Celebrity Red Wines

Wolfgang Puck is known for his extravagant dinners and his work with celebrities. Did you know that Puck also has his own wine? Luckily, they’re very affordable: There are both red and white selections in the 12 to 15 dollar range. The wine was created to celebrate family, friendships, and hope. If you wonder what to pair his wines with, go with pizza. Everyone knows that Puck loves pizza, and he has a pizza dough recipe that makes people salivate. Plus, pizza and wine are the perfect pairing for a night of romance.

For more Love & Libations date night ideas and celebrity couple predictions from Yolanda Shoshana, click here

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Dating Advice Q&A: Should I Remain Friends with My Ex Online?

Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice Q&A: Should I Remain Friends with My Ex Online?

Concerned woman. Photo: Kzenon / Bigstock.com

Question from Sonya M.: Facebook is the official/unofficial way of announcing a relationship. Is it too vindictive to unfriend an ex, or is that the right move when you enter a new relationship?

Social media is a fun way to share your relationship with friends and family, but if that relationship ends, the waters can get a little murky. Let our relationship experts help by offering their best dating advice for using social media in the right way! Learn valuable dating tips from matchmaker Suzanne Oshima and relationship author Robert Manni. Here, they answer your question about whether or not you should unfriend your ex after a break-up. Check out their dating advice below!

Dating Advice for Unfriending Your Ex on Facebook

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: When it comes to dating after a break-up or divorce, it’s important to know that removing all traces of your ex on social media isn’t about being vindictive — it’s about moving on.

This is the last step at the end of your relationship, so now is the time for some “spring cleaning.” Daily reminders of him won’t allow you to move forward with your love life, so remember the saying “out of sight, out of mind.” This will remove any temptation to cyber snoop or check in on what he’s doing and who he’s dating. All in all, if you continue to stay connected, then you’re holding on — and this can hold you back from moving forward into another relationship.

Related Link: Dating Advice Q&A: How Can You Tell Red Flags From Online Dating?

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: Even though people have become too reliant on social media as their main form of communication, announcing a new relationship on Facebook can feel great and be validating. It’s a nice way of putting something out there about yourself that you feel good about for the people you enjoying sharing with.

On the other hand, if you no longer have an offline connection with an ex and do not feel comfortable posting about your new relationship for them to see, it’s perfectly acceptable to unfriend them. However, if you remain on good terms and they’re cool, there is no harm in staying connected with an ex on Facebook.

There are no strict rules or protocol about this. Listen to your inner compass and do what feels best for you. Good luck.

For more dating advice and to find out more about our dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

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Expert Dating Advice: Tips for Romance That’s Just Around the Corner When You’ve Been Around the Block

Cupid's Pulse Article: Expert Dating Advice: Tips for Romance That’s Just Around the Corner When You’ve Been Around the Block

Photo: Wavebreak Media Ltd / Bigstock.com

By Amy Osmond Cook, Ph.D.

For many of us, a lost opportunity at love or the end of a long-term relationship can sometimes make us feel like a second chance just isn’t in the cards. And when Valentine’s Day is focused on romantic dinners for two or coupled walks on the beach, it can be a painful reminder of what we lack.

Let’s face it. There’s no substitute for young love, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy being loved again later in life, especially for seniors. “Fortunately, in some ways, there has never been a better time for women over 60 to be in the dating world,” says Margaret Manning. “The rise of divorce among ‘silver splitters’ means there are more single older men — and there might be more great guys out there than you might expect at first glance, especially if you give them a chance.”

Expert Dating Advice for Older Adults

Related Link: Relationship Advice: Keys to Growing a Business When the Marriage is Over

A loving and caring companionship is a good thing, but it’s also important to recognize that it’s different for older adults. If you find yourself ready to take a shot at love again, here are three pieces of expert dating advice for making this experience feel as good as if it was new.

1. Instead of going for red hot, opt for a slow burn: Daters who are 50 and older tend to be less impulsive. And AARP writer Ken Solin says that’s a good thing: “By now, we’ve collected enough life experience to know better than to fall for the first person we meet,” said Solin. “We understand what works for us and what doesn’t.” For older adults, the belief that a fulfilling relationship is out there waiting for us still holds true. The difference is that we are willing to wait for the right person to come along.

2. Bring the Sex-C back: Instead of relying on intercourse to be the foundation for your budding relationship, a growing community is coming forward with conversations about intimacy challenges. Laura Brashier, founder of RomanceOnly.com, helped ignite this conversation when she pioneered a site designed for people whose physical and emotional challenges prevent them from engaging in intercourse. “While these people are unable to have intercourse, they still crave intimacy but are unable to open up about it,” says Brashier. “I’ve discovered that people facing difficulties with sexual intercourse still want to show love and be loved in return.”

Sharing intimate moments with someone you love is an essential part of a growing relationship, but for older adults, that doesn’t always require intercourse. Instead, a loving couple can explore other ways to share pleasure and develop a personal connection. It can be as simple as spending a whole day together erranding, participating in common interests, sharing meals, and everything in between — and then parting ways at sunset.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: 4 Reasons Going Outside Your Comfort Zone Is a Good Idea

3. Expect respect: At this stage of life, older adults know what they want and what they deserve in a relationship. Yes, we want romance and attention, but we also need respect. “We all need respect, especially from those who are closest and most intimately connected with us,” says Peter Gray, PhD. “It seems to me that women, even more than men, have suffered when love directed toward them is not accompanied by respect.” It’s helpful to discover common interests, but a caring partner will also respect differing hobbies or career choices. For instance, if your partner cannot understand why you would pursue teaching as a career or insists that you give up bowling league to spend more time at the theater, these may be signs that your new squeeze is a drip. “A lack of respect is unacceptable under any circumstances, but it’s especially intolerable on a first encounter because it’s unlikely to improve with time,” says Solin.

Love certainly has its share of unpredictable twists, but there has never been an easier time to navigate those turns. For instance, with online dating sites catering to older adults and those facing struggles with intimacy, the ability to connect is offering new hope to older adults every day. By using a strategy that includes things like patience, honest communication about intimacy — and, above all, respect — you’re on the right track to finding new love again.

For more information about and articles by our relationship expert Dr. Amy Osmond Cook, click here.

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Expert Relationship Advice: Two Things That Make a Man Fall in Love & Commit

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to love and dating coach Jaki Sabourin about two things that make a man fall in love and commit to a relationship. Watch the video above for their best expert relationship advice!

Expert Relationship Advice to Make a Man Fall in Love & Commit

First, it’s important to note that it’s not really “things” that make a man fall in love and commit. “They’re traits — traits that you can develop in yourself,” Sabourin explains.

Related Link: Expert Relationship Advice: How to Emotionally Connect with a Man

1. The first trait is your high-value status: “It’s your job to present and project and create this perception that you have a high value,” the dating coach says. “And how you do that is to accept yourself.” Don’t turn over your significance to a man — your personal value needs to come from within. She adds, “Of course, any man who is looking for a woman to spend his life with wants a woman who has a high regard for herself.”

2. The second trait is vulnerability: You need to balance your strong sense of self-worth with vulnerability to avoid coming across as too masculine, aloof, or conceited. “You have to create a space of openness with a man so he can come in,” Sabourin says. “Vulnerability is really about sharing things about yourself, not being afraid to show who you really are.” Tell him things that will inspire him to take care of you.

Related Link: Relationship Advice: How to Get Men to Fall Into Your Lap

What about a woman who thinks being vulnerable will make her appear weak? “Ladies, look at that, because that tells me you’re protecting your heart and you have a defense up,” Sabourin shares. “When you have a defense up, it’s like a wall, a fence, that keeps the love and relationship you want out.” There’s so much power in vulnerability: It shows that you love and accept yourself, that you’ve been hurt but that you’re open to something new.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Checklist for Dating from Different Decades: Get Love Advice from ‘The Bachelor’ Star Arie Luyendyk, Jr.

Cupid's Pulse Article: Checklist for Dating from Different Decades: Get Love Advice from ‘The Bachelor’ Star Arie Luyendyk, Jr.

Arie Luyendyk Jr. Photo: Instagram/@ariejr.

By Megan Weks

There is a bit of a buzz going on about the age gap between some of the contestants and the leading man on season 22 of The Bachelor. Is it really a big deal? After all, significant age differences are often common in celebrity relationships. A notable one is Mary-Kate Olsen and French businessman Olivier Sarkozy, who is seventeen years older than the fashion designer. Celebrity couple Hugh Jackman and Deborra-lee Furness also seem to be handling the test of time: She is thirteen years his senior, and they have been married for nearly two decades.

Love Advice from Bachelor Star Arie Luyendyk Jr.

What should we look out for if we are dating someone from a different decade? Since Arie Luyendyk Jr. seems well-prepared to qualify the candidates on The Bachelor, we might be able to get some great love advice from his experiences. He has self-proclaimed “baby fever” and is therefore seeking a match who is ready to tie the knot and start a family.

Related Link: Celebrity News: ‘Bachelor’ Star Arie Luyendyk Jr. Justifies First Impression Rose Pick

A good relationship starts with good intentions — which means, if both people know what they want out of life and have similar values, there is a much better chance for success, regardless of a difference in age. Luyendyk knows what he wants, which will make it easier for him to see if the intentions of the women he meets match his own. When people do not have clarity on what they want out of life, they can easily veer away from one another on the path to self-discovery.

Regarding his decision-making process with regard to age, according to The Hollywood Reporter, Luyendyk said, “I only really addressed that if I felt it was an issue — if there was some immaturity or if I questioned whether they were really ready for marriage. It’s more about readiness and about being able to take that next step.”

Realize that, if you choose a mate from a different decade, there will be things you don’t have in common. My husband, who is ten years older than me, has different musical interests and grew up knowing different movies and shows. However, since I had an older sibling and am a person who likes all the arts, we find similarities among our tastes. This difference could become frustrating, however, for those who cannot connect through the arts because inevitably, you’ll be spending time listening to music and watching movies and shows together. Therefore, it’s ideal to be able to find some common ground in media that you can enjoy together.

Related Link: Expert Love Advice: How I Used a Manfunnel to Meet My Dream Husband

Another thing to look out for: Either you or your partner will be aging at what seems like a faster rate. Your partner may be reaching the next stage of life — middle age or elderly — before you. This difference might start to be more noticeable for you if you’re the younger half. You’ll want to be sure you have enough of a soul connection that this situation won’t matter to you.

Overall, if your goals, values, and soul connection are intact, then age truly is just a number.

For more information about dating expert Megan Weks, visit her website at www.meganweks.com. For more relationship advice articles from Megan, click here

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Dating Advice Q&A: How Do I Get My Husband to Disconnect From His Phone?

Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice Q&A: How Do I Get My Husband to Disconnect From His Phone?

Peeking at cell phone. Photo: Nicoleta Lonescu / Bigstock.com

Question from Rachel S.: My husband is a general manager, so even when he leaves work, he’s still working from his phone. He doesn’t mean to, but lately, he’s been so wrapped in his phone that he ignores me when I talk. He seems genuinely apologetic and interested when I get his attention, but it’s getting it that’s hard. How can I get him to disconnect from his phone at the end of the day?

Technology makes our lives better in so many ways, but it can also be a distraction, especially if you or your partner has trouble unplugging at the end of the work day. Let our relationship experts help by offering their best dating advice for using technology, like your cell phone, in the right way. Learn valuable dating tips from matchmaker Suzanne Oshima and relationship author Robert Manni. Here, they answer your question on how to politely encourage your significant other to disconnect from their phone. Check out their dating advice below!

Dating Advice About Unplugging

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: When it comes to technology, its biggest strength is also its biggest weakness: It connects us, but it also disconnects us from the ones that are standing right in front of us. Your husband may not be intentionally trying to hurt or ignore you, but in this age of technology and mobile phones, it’s easy to get lost in multitasking.

My recommendation is to share with him how his constant connection to his phone makes you feel unimportant and disconnected from him. Then, just ask him to put away the phone on date nights so that the two of you can spend quality time together, uninterrupted by a flurry of notifications and messages. It’s the perfect way to reconnect with each other emotionally and romantically after working all day.

Related Link: Dating & Technology Q&A: Is It Weird If He Doesn’t Call Back After a Date?

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: It all comes down to communication. In today’s culture, we are are tethered to work 24/7, and you may not be aware of some job pressures your husband is experiencing but not sharing. Getting him to open up about work may be a good way of broaching the phone issue.

Another angle is stressing the positives — how much you and your family value your time with him and how important it is for your husband to invest as much energy in you as he does in his job and his phone. A healthy balance between work and home life is critical to any marriage.

A third, wild-card approach is planning a night planned by you featuring some good old-fashion seduction. If that doesn’t get him to put his phone down, you may have a bigger issue on your hands. Good luck.

For more dating advice and to find out more about our dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

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