Dating Advice Q&A: Am I His Catfish?

Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice Q&A: Am I His Catfish?

Upset girl looking at her boyfriend’s computer. Photo: Feel Photo Art / Bigstock.com

Tammy J.: The guy I’ve been seeing is nice, but I’m not sure if he’s really “into” me. He’s also distant and secretive so that makes me anxious. He hasn’t gone public with our relationship online but he sends pictures of us to his mother. I want to think this is a good thing, but it kind of feels like he’s using me. Could he be catfishing his mom? We haven’t officially called each other boyfriend/girlfriend, but I think that’s what he’s been telling his mom otherwise.

Dating has always been complicated. Add the internet, social media and electronic devices into the mix, and it can get confusing real fast. However, do not fret. Leave it up to our relationship experts who can offer their best dating advice on using technology to navigate your relationships. Technology is here to stay, after all, so take advantage of these amazing tools! Learn valuable dating tips from Cupid’s very own, matchmaker Suzanne Oshima and relationship expert Robert Manni. Here they’ll answer your questions on determining whether someone is using you as their catfish .

Technology Dating Advice That Will Help You Find A Catfish

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: It’s time for you to first get clear on what you want and need in a relationship. Once you’re clear, then you need to evaluate whether he’s meeting your needs. If he is, then just share with him that you’re confused as to what you are to him, and just let him clarify things for you. If he’s not what you want or need in a relationship, then it’s time for you to move on to a guy who is into you and is proud to declare you his girlfriend to everyone.

Related Link: Dating Advice Q&A: How Can You Know If Someone is Being Honest Online?

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: Unless you know your guy and his mom well, it’s not easy to have a clear picture of their relationship. So, instead of focusing on something you have no control over, have a chat with him about your relationship. Since you are not sure where this new “relationship” stands, this is a good time to ask him where he sees things going with you. Don’t pressure him, but get to the heart of the matter. If he’s into you, he’ll let you know. If he wavers or his responses are vague, you might want to reconsider where you’re investing your emotions. I doubt you want to be with someone who does not feel the same way about you.

To find out more about our three dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

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Relationship Advice: How Do I Know If I’m Rebounding?

Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: How Do I Know If I’m Rebounding?

Sad couple embracing. Photo: anpet2000 / Bigstock.com

By Joshua Pompey

You’re fresh out of a volatile relationship and ready to start something new. What an exciting time in your life, right? But not so fast! Before you go jumping into that next relationship, ask yourself the question: am I really ready, or am I simply on the rebound? Below are five signs you may not be quite ready to take on a new partner yet. Follow this relationship advice so you can avoid hurting yourself and others.

Relationship Advice That Will Help You Determine Whether You’re Rebounding


1. You’re rushing into the process: These days we live in a world of unlimited options. Get out of a two year relationship and within seconds you could be online and swiping right for that next partner. But just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. The heart takes time to heal, and even if you were the one who initiated the break up, or as people famously say, “It felt like we were broken up for months,” you still need some time to breathe and be on your own first. Eventually you will be ready to swipe right until your fingers are bleeding, but in the beginning stages, take your time.

Related Link: Dating Advice: 3 Online Dating Trends to Watch Out For In the New Year

2. Dating nostalgia: If you are on date night with someone new and find your mind constantly glamorizing the past with your ex, you are still on the rebound. Regardless of how many memories you have in certain locations, if you are truly ready to be with someone new those memories should fade to the back of your mind and allow yourself to be in the present. Allowing nostalgia to get the best of you means you just aren’t ready.

Related Link: Dating Advice: I’m Never Single. Is it Bad to Go From One Relationship to the Next?

3. You still have an impulse to text your ex: If you have that impulse to text your ex every time you see an inside joke or something that reminds you of them, you are definitely still on the rebound. No matter how innocent you convince yourself that sending your ex a text is, it’s not. You are just using it as an excuse to make contact with someone you miss. That isn’t fair to  your future partner, so sort that out before you pursue a new relationship.

Related Link: Dating Advice: Do Pick Up Lines Actually Work?

4. Bringing baggage along for the ride: Sometimes bad relationships can be very volatile and come with a whole lot of fighting. But once you break free of that and move on to someone new. You can’t bring the old tensions, suspicions, and unhealthy behavior along for the ride. A new relationship needs to be a completely fresh slate. If you can’t do that, you aren’t ready and will only set yourself up for countless relationship problems.

Related Link: Relationship Advice: So When Exactly IS It Time For Sex?

5. The effort isn’t there: You can’t put in a 110% effort physically or emotionally if you are still even the slightest bit focused on your ex. Block him or her on Facebook. Block text messages. Do whatever it is you need to do to forget that person. Not being on the rebound allows you to put your heart and soul into making that other person happy, and just as importantly, making yourself happy in the process!

For more information from our relationship expert Joshua Pompey, you can read free articles and advice here, including why you should avoid matchmakers if you are over 40.

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Relationship Advice: How to Handle Your Significant Other’s Family

Cupid's Pulse Article: Relationship Advice: How to Handle Your Significant Other’s Family

Family gathering for a special occassion. Photo: Wavebreak Media Ltd / Bigstock.com

By Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher for Project Soulmate with contributing writer Hana Gilbert

So there’s a new someone in your life. They’re the bee’s knees, the cat’s meow, the best thing since sliced bread. You’re so head-over-heels in love with your new partner. You two have gone through almost everything as a couple- the laughs, the tears, the fights. Unfortunately, you have yet to cross off one of the leading causes of breakups: the family. You decide it’s time to mention the forbidden four word phrase, “Mom, I’ve met someone.” You set the day, time, and place for the big reveal. You eat, talk, laugh; all seems to be going well. After several attempts to reunite are turned down due to “last minute obligations,” you begin to question your confidence regarding your family’s approval. So what do you do? Potentially hinder the future of your relationship by molding yourself into the ideal candidate the family wants? Or risk furthering the divide between you, your significant other, and your significant other’s family by remaining true to who you are, making uncomfortable family outings few and far between? Relationship experts Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher share insightful relationship advice on how to maintain a steady, healthy relationship with the family by understanding and accepting the situation and remaining yourself within your relationship. If you think your significant other’s family aren’t fond of you (or vice versa), take heed of the following dating tips and avoid relationship problems.

Relationship Advice on How to Handle Your Significant Other’s Family


1. Don’t force it : Just because you’re in a new relationship, don’t expect your significant other to perfectly fit into the family dynamic right away. In some cases, the significant other is exactly what the family expected. However those cases have made their way onto the endangered species list. Don’t get offended if your significant other doesn’t want to take part in, or isn’t invited to every family outing. Allowing both your family and your significant other to ease into the family relationship at their own pace is healthy for a long, successful relationship. As the significant other, don’t patronize the family, or act differently in an effort to impress them. Any fake personalities will just come off as awkward and uncomfortable, and give the family more excuses not to like you.

Related Link: Celebrity Breakovers: Kardashian Breakups That Have Broken Necks & Other Helpful Relationship Advice

2. Understand and learn to accept the outcome : Sometimes no matter how hard you try, two people just don’t click. It doesn’t mean either one is right or wrong. It just simply means that these two particular people weren’t meant to get along, and it is up to you to learn to accept this. The sooner you accept the fact that your knight in shining armor may not be the hero your family was looking for, the sooner you can learn to navigate the situation. Make the best of a not-so-favorable mix through compromises, such as agreeing to attend family gatherings but keeping the house an outside family free zone. Remember, in these situations, compromises are made not for one person, but for the relationship as a whole. Therefore, if the compromise doesn’t exactly go in your favor, take a step back and remember the real reason you’re in this situation, because you love your significant other unconditionally want things to workout between the two of you.

Related Link: Relationship Advice: How Far Will You Go for a Relationship?

3. Remain respectful: As soon as the situation has been accepted, the people involved can begin working on a relationship that works for everyone. The most important thing to remember, however, is to remain respectful and rid of any hostility felt towards one another. Learn to respect boundaries and control your emotions when in familial situations. However, if you ever feel guilty or pressured into choosing between your family and your significant other, it may be wise to re-evaluate the relationship from other points of view, or consider if their requests are fair. Your family or your significant other should never put you in the situation to choose one over the other. Instead, all parties involved should respect one another’s decisions and remain as positive about the situation as possible.

Relationship experts Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher are BRAVO TV’s Love Broker and founders of Project Soulmate, a high-end New York-based matchmaking company.

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