Dating Advice Q&A: Should I Remain Friends with My Ex Online?

Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice Q&A: Should I Remain Friends with My Ex Online?

Concerned woman. Photo: Kzenon / Bigstock.com

Question from Sonya M.: Facebook is the official/unofficial way of announcing a relationship. Is it too vindictive to unfriend an ex, or is that the right move when you enter a new relationship?

Social media is a fun way to share your relationship with friends and family, but if that relationship ends, the waters can get a little murky. Let our relationship experts help by offering their best dating advice for using social media in the right way! Learn valuable dating tips from matchmaker Suzanne Oshima and relationship author Robert Manni. Here, they answer your question about whether or not you should unfriend your ex after a break-up. Check out their dating advice below!

Dating Advice for Unfriending Your Ex on Facebook

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: When it comes to dating after a break-up or divorce, it’s important to know that removing all traces of your ex on social media isn’t about being vindictive — it’s about moving on.

This is the last step at the end of your relationship, so now is the time for some “spring cleaning.” Daily reminders of him won’t allow you to move forward with your love life, so remember the saying “out of sight, out of mind.” This will remove any temptation to cyber snoop or check in on what he’s doing and who he’s dating. All in all, if you continue to stay connected, then you’re holding on — and this can hold you back from moving forward into another relationship.

Related Link: Dating Advice Q&A: How Can You Tell Red Flags From Online Dating?

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: Even though people have become too reliant on social media as their main form of communication, announcing a new relationship on Facebook can feel great and be validating. It’s a nice way of putting something out there about yourself that you feel good about for the people you enjoying sharing with.

On the other hand, if you no longer have an offline connection with an ex and do not feel comfortable posting about your new relationship for them to see, it’s perfectly acceptable to unfriend them. However, if you remain on good terms and they’re cool, there is no harm in staying connected with an ex on Facebook.

There are no strict rules or protocol about this. Listen to your inner compass and do what feels best for you. Good luck.

For more dating advice and to find out more about our dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

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Dating Advice Q&A: How Do I Get My Husband to Disconnect From His Phone?

Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice Q&A: How Do I Get My Husband to Disconnect From His Phone?

Peeking at cell phone. Photo: Nicoleta Lonescu / Bigstock.com

Question from Rachel S.: My husband is a general manager, so even when he leaves work, he’s still working from his phone. He doesn’t mean to, but lately, he’s been so wrapped in his phone that he ignores me when I talk. He seems genuinely apologetic and interested when I get his attention, but it’s getting it that’s hard. How can I get him to disconnect from his phone at the end of the day?

Technology makes our lives better in so many ways, but it can also be a distraction, especially if you or your partner has trouble unplugging at the end of the work day. Let our relationship experts help by offering their best dating advice for using technology, like your cell phone, in the right way. Learn valuable dating tips from matchmaker Suzanne Oshima and relationship author Robert Manni. Here, they answer your question on how to politely encourage your significant other to disconnect from their phone. Check out their dating advice below!

Dating Advice About Unplugging

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: When it comes to technology, its biggest strength is also its biggest weakness: It connects us, but it also disconnects us from the ones that are standing right in front of us. Your husband may not be intentionally trying to hurt or ignore you, but in this age of technology and mobile phones, it’s easy to get lost in multitasking.

My recommendation is to share with him how his constant connection to his phone makes you feel unimportant and disconnected from him. Then, just ask him to put away the phone on date nights so that the two of you can spend quality time together, uninterrupted by a flurry of notifications and messages. It’s the perfect way to reconnect with each other emotionally and romantically after working all day.

Related Link: Dating & Technology Q&A: Is It Weird If He Doesn’t Call Back After a Date?

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: It all comes down to communication. In today’s culture, we are are tethered to work 24/7, and you may not be aware of some job pressures your husband is experiencing but not sharing. Getting him to open up about work may be a good way of broaching the phone issue.

Another angle is stressing the positives — how much you and your family value your time with him and how important it is for your husband to invest as much energy in you as he does in his job and his phone. A healthy balance between work and home life is critical to any marriage.

A third, wild-card approach is planning a night planned by you featuring some good old-fashion seduction. If that doesn’t get him to put his phone down, you may have a bigger issue on your hands. Good luck.

For more dating advice and to find out more about our dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

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Dating Advice Video: 5 Ways Women Sabotage Themselves with Men

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Robert Manni to discuss how women sabotage themselves with men and offer their best relationship advice. Here are five ways that women sabotage themselves when looking for love.

Relationship Author Gives Dating Advice


1. You’re not in it to win it: You may say you want to find love, but instead of going out to a new spot where you can actually meet someone, you find yourself in a routine of dinner at home and TV time. “You have to put yourself out there. You have to be willing to fail to be able to succeed,” Manni explains.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: 4 Ways To Make Your Man Happy!

2. You’re always plugged in: Put your phone down! If you’re walking around New York City with your earbuds in and music blaring, you’re presenting yourself as closed off and unavailable. It’s hard for a guy to ask an open-ended question or chat you up when you’re walled off through technology. Oshima adds, “Those are barriers to meeting someone organically.”

3. You’re not fishing where the fish are: “Go where the guys are!” the relationship author says. You can find guys are at sporting events, at the football field, at a tech store, at a whiskey tasting, or at the gym. Think about your brother and his friends — where do they often go?

4. You’re always with a group of girlfriends: It’s no secret that a pack of women can be overwhelming! Guys are wondering how to handle the group dynamics and just focus on the woman they’re truly interested in. Instead, make it easier for them and single yourself out.

Related Link: Dating Advice: 5 Signs He’s Taking the Relationship Seriously

5. You’re too attached to your list: This is one of the most important ways that women sabotage themselves. “If you stick too closely to your list, you’re going to narrow down your opportunities,” Manni explains. “And the longer you’re single, the longer your list grows.” Make sure your list only includes a few core qualities that are value-oriented and be flexible about your physical type.

A bonus way that women sabotage themselves with men: You throw someone back in the dating pool too quickly. One bad coffee date does not mean the relationship is doomed! “Love grows if you keep an open heart,” the relationship author says. “It can turn into something spectacular if you give love a chance.”

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Dating & Technology Q&A: Is It Too Soon For Me To Ask Him To Get Off Dating Sites?

Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating & Technology Q&A: Is It Too Soon For Me To Ask Him To Get Off Dating Sites?

Young man texting. Photo: Maridav / Bigstock.com

Question from Adrianne P.: I started dating this guy a few weeks ago, and everything is going great, but there’s one thing that bothers me- he still uses Tinder. I know it’s early in the relationship and I don’t want to seem controlling but I’d still like him to stop. It just doesn’t seem like that’ll help us advance forward in this relationship. Am I being unreasonable?

Dating in the era of social media and cellphones can be difficult. Having many options is something daters expect in case things go wrong. With so many people playing the field it can be hard to find commitment. However do not fret, you can have a successful relationship even if your new partner is still on a dating website. Leave it up to our relationship experts who can offer their best dating advice on using technology the right way. Learn valuable dating tips from Cupid’s very own, matchmaker Suzanne Oshima and relationship expert Robert Manni. Here they’ll answer your questions on whether you should ask your significant other to get off Tinder.

Technology dating advice on whether it’s time to give up dating apps.

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: You’ve only been dating him for a few weeks, so you’re still in the early stages of dating where you’re only getting to know each other and determining if you want to take things further with each other. So, it’s a bit premature to ask him to get off of Tinder. However, I do recommend asking him what he’s looking for, as you will then find out if he’s looking to just date around or if he’s looking for a serious relationship. Then based on what he tells you, you can determine if it’s worth it for you to invest your time into seeing how things go with him. And if things continue to progress on the right path, then you can have the conversation about getting off of Tinder at the appropriate time.

Related Link: Dating & Technology Q&A: How Bad Is It To Send Nudes, Really?

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: These days, daters like keeping their options open, and with all of the options available there’s often a disconnect in how two people define a relationship.The only way to find out where things stand is by asking. Cushioning, maintaining side relations and a constant online presence are standard operating procedure. Tinder is generally viewed as a hook-up app, so if your guy is still active there and you want to move your new relationship forward, ask him if he’s open to putting his digital dating presence on hold. If he really digs you, he’ll agree. If he rejects the idea or skirts the subject, at least you’ll have a better idea where he stands. Since you’ve only been dating a few weeks, for now he may want to continue playing the field. That’s not necessarily a deal breaker. Guys often take more time to “get serious.” Regardless, it’s better to find out what his intentions are before investing too much of your heart into the relationship. Good luck.

To find out more about our three dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

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Dating & Technology Q&A: My Partner Fishes For Likes, What Do I Do?

Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating & Technology Q&A: My Partner Fishes For Likes, What Do I Do?

How to be aware of online dating scams. Photo: Dolgachov / Bigstock

Question from Carolyn S.: I’ve been with my partner for a long time now. I love him, but he’s always posting inappropriate stuff (like memes or outrageous status updates) on social media for likes. It’s pretty cringe-worthy to watch. Why does he do this? And why is my support not enough? I can’t figure out why he needs validation from his peers or strangers online.

Dating in the era of social media can put a strain on relationships, especially when one party is constantly seeking approval in a negative way. However do not fret, crude internet personas should not be the cause of your breakup (or at least hopefully)! Leave it up to our relationship experts who can offer their best dating advice on using technology the right way. Learn valuable dating tips from Cupid’s very own, matchmaker Suzanne Oshima and relationship expert Robert Manni. Here they’ll answer your questions on how to handle a partner’s inappropriate behavior online.

Technology Dating Advice That Will Help You Deal An Inappropriate Partner Online

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: Remember back in high school, how everyone wanted to be the most popular person in school? The one that everyone liked? Well, this is no different. Your partner continually posting on social media is just to get likes and attention from others. While you may think it’s inappropriate, I’m going to guess that this isn’t something that he was doing before you became a couple. So, as long as it’s not harming you or anyone else, don’t try to change him. Just let it go and focus on more important things in the relationship.

Related Link: Dating & Technology Q&A: How Do You Handle Dating Someone With An Internet Persona?

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: As long as he is only fishing for likes and not other fish, I wouldn’t be overly concerned about this fairly common social media behavior. Maybe he feels like he needs validation, and for whatever reason maybe he feels he’s not getting the validation he needs at home. A heart to heart conversation usually clarifies underlying relationship issues. Have “the talk” and make sure he shows up with an open mind. Good luck.

To find out more about our three dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

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Dating Advice: What You Don’t Know About Men!

On this week’s episode of Single in Stilettos, founder and matchmaker Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship expert Robert Manni to offer their dating advice on how to figure out what men do and don’t want in a partner. Learn how you can attract a lifelong partner with the following dating tips!

Dating Advice That Will Reveal Male Secrets

1. Want you to win. Men want to see women actualize their dreams in personal and professional settings. They’re supportive and want their partner to be happy when it comes to love. Don’t be misled by aloof behavior. If you’re both in a committed relationship, he cares about you more than you realize.

Related Link: Dating Advice: Who Should Pay For a First Date?

2. Sports win their heart. You can really get to know a guy when it comes to sports. Most men are interested in some type of sport, so get involved in his interests if you also like sports. If you can’t bring yourself to enjoy sports, then give him time to engage in his own sport-like hobbies. Don’t limit him from things that bring him joy.

Related Link: Dating Advice Q&A: Am I His Catfish?

3. Guys can’t read signals. More often than not, men are blindsided by breakups. The reason for this, men are bad at reading signals of a strained relationship. Men aren’t mind reasers, so if you’re unhappy, you need to express this at some point. This way your man can work with you to fix the problems you’re experiencing.

For more relationship advice videos and additional information Single in Stilettos show, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Dating Advice: Who Should Pay For a First Date?


On this week’s episode of Single in Stilettos, founder and matchmaker Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship expert Robert Manni to offer their dating advice on who should be paying for first date activities. Learn how you can handle this delicate situation with the following dating tips!

Dating Advice That Will Help You Determine Who Pays On First Dates

1. Whoever asked first. It can go either way nowadays, but the person who made the first move and asked for the date should be the one to pay. And since men are usually the ones to ask for a date, the responsibility of paying tends to fall on them. It’s also a nice touch if a guy picks up the check on the first date for first impression purposes.

Related Link: Dating Advice: How Long Should You Date Around, After You Meet a Man You Like?

2. Give and take. If you feel uncomfortable letting a man pay on a first date, then make attempts to contribute in some way. Picking up the tab on a glass of wine or treating a guy to movie tickets are nice ways to get equal footing in a new relationship. This sets precedent on how payment will be handled on future dates without the awkward “who pays” discussion.

Related Link: Dating Advice: How to Get Men to Fall into Your Lap

3. Be thankful. Nobody wants to feel taken advantage of, so say thank you after someone takes you out on a date. Men in particular get frustrated when women expect to be taken out and aren’t appreciative.  So  mind your manners and show you’re grateful when taken out. The same applies when a man doesn’t show appreciation after you pay for a date. If he can’t say thank you, you don’t have to be with him.

For more relationship advice videos and additional information Single in Stilettos show, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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