Relationship Advice: How to Heal a Broken Heart

By Rachel Sparks

The relationship advice in this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video will help you mend that broken heart. Relationship expert and founder of Single in Stilettos Suzanne Oshima interviews relationship author Duana Welch for her top three tips on how you can heal after a break-up.

Relationship Author Duana Welch Offers Her Best Relationship Advice on How to Heal a Broken Heart

1. Be brave: “The things that we dream of most are the things we are most scared of,” Welch shares. Face your fear in order to pursue your dream relationship. It’s easier to sit on the couch and wallow in heartache, but that doesn’t help you move on. Dating is scary, but as the relationship author says, “Do it anyway.”

Related Link: Relationship Advice: Dealing with a Dating Burnout

2. Move on: May Weather once said, “The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” Welch quotes this eighteenth-century woman to prove her point: The best way to move past an old heartache is to jump into a new relationship. No matter what people say about loving yourself first, starting up another relationship can offer the adrenaline that helps you forget the past pain.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: How to Move a Stagnant Relationship to Commitment

3. Learn relationship science: There are boundless resources that can teach you about the human mating cycle. While that’s not a glamorous term for dating, when you begin to treat relationships like science experiments, you can learn what works and what doesn’t. If you’re already hurting from heartache, how bad can failing at dating experiments be? As Welch advises, “Taking no steps is guaranteed failure.”

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here

For more videos from Cupid’s Pulse, check out our YouTube channel. 

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Dating Advice Q&A: Should I Remain Friends with My Ex Online?

Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice Q&A: Should I Remain Friends with My Ex Online?

Concerned woman. Photo: Kzenon / Bigstock.com

Question from Sonya M.: Facebook is the official/unofficial way of announcing a relationship. Is it too vindictive to unfriend an ex, or is that the right move when you enter a new relationship?

Social media is a fun way to share your relationship with friends and family, but if that relationship ends, the waters can get a little murky. Let our relationship experts help by offering their best dating advice for using social media in the right way! Learn valuable dating tips from matchmaker Suzanne Oshima and relationship author Robert Manni. Here, they answer your question about whether or not you should unfriend your ex after a break-up. Check out their dating advice below!

Dating Advice for Unfriending Your Ex on Facebook

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: When it comes to dating after a break-up or divorce, it’s important to know that removing all traces of your ex on social media isn’t about being vindictive — it’s about moving on.

This is the last step at the end of your relationship, so now is the time for some “spring cleaning.” Daily reminders of him won’t allow you to move forward with your love life, so remember the saying “out of sight, out of mind.” This will remove any temptation to cyber snoop or check in on what he’s doing and who he’s dating. All in all, if you continue to stay connected, then you’re holding on — and this can hold you back from moving forward into another relationship.

Related Link: Dating Advice Q&A: How Can You Tell Red Flags From Online Dating?

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: Even though people have become too reliant on social media as their main form of communication, announcing a new relationship on Facebook can feel great and be validating. It’s a nice way of putting something out there about yourself that you feel good about for the people you enjoying sharing with.

On the other hand, if you no longer have an offline connection with an ex and do not feel comfortable posting about your new relationship for them to see, it’s perfectly acceptable to unfriend them. However, if you remain on good terms and they’re cool, there is no harm in staying connected with an ex on Facebook.

There are no strict rules or protocol about this. Listen to your inner compass and do what feels best for you. Good luck.

For more dating advice and to find out more about our dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

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Expert Relationship Advice: Two Things That Make a Man Fall in Love & Commit

By Whitney Johnson

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to love and dating coach Jaki Sabourin about two things that make a man fall in love and commit to a relationship. Watch the video above for their best expert relationship advice!

Expert Relationship Advice to Make a Man Fall in Love & Commit

First, it’s important to note that it’s not really “things” that make a man fall in love and commit. “They’re traits — traits that you can develop in yourself,” Sabourin explains.

Related Link: Expert Relationship Advice: How to Emotionally Connect with a Man

1. The first trait is your high-value status: “It’s your job to present and project and create this perception that you have a high value,” the dating coach says. “And how you do that is to accept yourself.” Don’t turn over your significance to a man — your personal value needs to come from within. She adds, “Of course, any man who is looking for a woman to spend his life with wants a woman who has a high regard for herself.”

2. The second trait is vulnerability: You need to balance your strong sense of self-worth with vulnerability to avoid coming across as too masculine, aloof, or conceited. “You have to create a space of openness with a man so he can come in,” Sabourin says. “Vulnerability is really about sharing things about yourself, not being afraid to show who you really are.” Tell him things that will inspire him to take care of you.

Related Link: Relationship Advice: How to Get Men to Fall Into Your Lap

What about a woman who thinks being vulnerable will make her appear weak? “Ladies, look at that, because that tells me you’re protecting your heart and you have a defense up,” Sabourin shares. “When you have a defense up, it’s like a wall, a fence, that keeps the love and relationship you want out.” There’s so much power in vulnerability: It shows that you love and accept yourself, that you’ve been hurt but that you’re open to something new.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Dating Advice Video: Why Smart, Successful Women Can Fail at Love


On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Duana Welch about why smart, successful women can fail at love. “I was in grad school getting a doctorate in the social sciences, and I realized that I was pretty good at that, but I really wasn’t good at love,” Welch shares. “I knew there was something that I was doing wrong — because the common denominator in all of my relationships was me.” Here, she shares three reasons why succeeding at love is hard for so many women.

Relationship Author Duana Welch Is Interviewed in Dating Advice Video

1. The things women do to succeed at work don’t work in the world of dating: At work, women are told to put themselves forward, pursue what they want, and lead their co-workers, but in a relationship, those qualities are often unrewarded. “Research shows that women who routinely pursue men are seen as low-status and not good wife material,” Welch explains. “I hate that!”

“If I liked a man…I was kind of shoving myself down his throat,” the relationship author adds of her own dating mishaps. “Of course, I didn’t see it that way. There’s never been a perfume called Desperation, and there never will be. But in the world of work, that stuff works.”

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: How to Move a Stagnant Relationship to Commitment

2. Some men hold a woman’s success against her: There was a study done where researchers put up two identical dating profiles. One emphasized the woman being young and beautiful, while the other focused on her being an educated, high-powered attorney. Unfortunately, it’s no surprise that the first profile got a lot more hits. “One reason is because men respond to youth and beauty, but it’s also because men are intimidated by women who have achieved more than they have,” Welch explains.

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: Times Women Say ‘Yes’ But Shouldn’t

3. We have a confirmation bias: In other words, we see what we want to see. “You fall in bed and fall in love, and then you find out the dealbreakers,” Welch shares. Instead, spare yourself the pain and take early action to determine your must-haves and dealbreakers. Then, you’ll be able to make a more informed decisions about your emotions.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Dating Advice Q&A: How Do I Get My Husband to Disconnect From His Phone?

Cupid's Pulse Article: Dating Advice Q&A: How Do I Get My Husband to Disconnect From His Phone?

Peeking at cell phone. Photo: Nicoleta Lonescu / Bigstock.com

Question from Rachel S.: My husband is a general manager, so even when he leaves work, he’s still working from his phone. He doesn’t mean to, but lately, he’s been so wrapped in his phone that he ignores me when I talk. He seems genuinely apologetic and interested when I get his attention, but it’s getting it that’s hard. How can I get him to disconnect from his phone at the end of the day?

Technology makes our lives better in so many ways, but it can also be a distraction, especially if you or your partner has trouble unplugging at the end of the work day. Let our relationship experts help by offering their best dating advice for using technology, like your cell phone, in the right way. Learn valuable dating tips from matchmaker Suzanne Oshima and relationship author Robert Manni. Here, they answer your question on how to politely encourage your significant other to disconnect from their phone. Check out their dating advice below!

Dating Advice About Unplugging

Suzanne K. Oshima, Matchmaker: When it comes to technology, its biggest strength is also its biggest weakness: It connects us, but it also disconnects us from the ones that are standing right in front of us. Your husband may not be intentionally trying to hurt or ignore you, but in this age of technology and mobile phones, it’s easy to get lost in multitasking.

My recommendation is to share with him how his constant connection to his phone makes you feel unimportant and disconnected from him. Then, just ask him to put away the phone on date nights so that the two of you can spend quality time together, uninterrupted by a flurry of notifications and messages. It’s the perfect way to reconnect with each other emotionally and romantically after working all day.

Related Link: Dating & Technology Q&A: Is It Weird If He Doesn’t Call Back After a Date?

Robert Manni, Guy’s Guy: It all comes down to communication. In today’s culture, we are are tethered to work 24/7, and you may not be aware of some job pressures your husband is experiencing but not sharing. Getting him to open up about work may be a good way of broaching the phone issue.

Another angle is stressing the positives — how much you and your family value your time with him and how important it is for your husband to invest as much energy in you as he does in his job and his phone. A healthy balance between work and home life is critical to any marriage.

A third, wild-card approach is planning a night planned by you featuring some good old-fashion seduction. If that doesn’t get him to put his phone down, you may have a bigger issue on your hands. Good luck.

For more dating advice and to find out more about our dating and technology gurus, click here.

If you have any questions you would like answered by our relationship experts, please e-mail them to cupid@cupidspulse.com.

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Dating Advice Video: What Men Want You to Know


On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship strategist and coach Cyndi Olin about three things that men want you to know. “There’s a complete disconnect in what women think men want,” Oshima reveals.

Relationship Experts Discuss What Men Want You to Know in Dating Advice Video

1. Men are actually very sensitive: Women often think men aren’t sensitive, but that’s just not the case. “In order to feel connected, they need to feel heard and needed,” Olin shares. “And if they don’t feel those two things from a woman, they’re not going to be fully connected or engaged with her.” As much as you want him to understand you, he wants to feel understood as well. “Be curious about him,” Olin adds.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: Beware of These Relationships

2. Men want to feel needed: Expanding on the first secret about men, they also want to feel respectfully needed. “Allowing him to support you is something that fills him up,” Olin explains. “It’s so important for women to realize that, as strong and independent as we are, we love a man who can take care of things for us, who can handle things for us,” Oshima says.

Related Link: Relationship Advice: What Attracts a Man

3. Men want to feel appreciated: If he feels appreciated for the things that he does, he’s going to do it ten-fold. “In fact, you won’t feel like, in your relationships, you have to do all of the heavy lifting,” the relationship coach explains. “He’s going to do more and more.” Plus, he’ll continue to build you up and support you if he feels like you’re doing the same for him.

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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Expert Dating Advice: How to Move a Stagnant Relationship to Commitment

On this week’s Single in Stilettos dating advice video, founder and relationship expert Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship author Duana Welch about their best expert dating advice for women for moving a stagnant relationship to commitment. “You don’t get this question a lot from guys because they’re in the pursuer role,” Welch explains. So ladies, listen up!

Relationship Expert Duana Welch Shares Her Tips for Commitment

It’s not as simple as just asking him. It’s tempting to approach him directly with your concern, but Welch encourages you to avoid doing so. “Studies show that guys move you from the possible Mrs. Right category to the Mrs. Right Now category when you do that,” the relationship author warns. “They think you’re low status, that you don’t have any other options.” So how can you move your relationship forward?

Related Link: Expert Dating Advice: Times Women Say ‘Yes’ But Shouldn’t

1. Become slightly less available: This piece of dating advice doesn’t give you an excuse to be mean or ugly to him. Instead, if he calls and you’re in the middle of something, wait a day and then call him back. Be super friendly and warm and simply explain that you were busy. “Let him hear the smile in your voice,” Welch explains. “Men want to make you happy — they feel like crap when they make you unhappy. Pair being slightly less available with being really rewarding to be with when you’re present.”

2. Test commitment with jealousy: “This is really unpopular — boy, have I received some hate mail from men!” Welch shares. But creating jealousy can be a good thing. Among women who create jealous intentionally in a male partner, it’s usually because she didn’t know if he cared or how much he cared. For instance, by accepting a date with someone else, you can easily gauge how it makes a guy feel. “If you do that and he doesn’t care, then he doesn’t care. It’s a really accurate litmus test,” says the relationship author.

Related Link: Dating Advice Video: Dealing With Dating Burnout

3. Avoid ultimatums: Both Oshima and Welch feel strongly that you should never give a man an ultimatum. “It will backfire on you. Even if he goes along with it, he’ll feel like he’s backed into a corner, and he’ll probably rebel later on,” Oshima explains. “It’s always better if he comes to a decision on his own.”

For more dating advice videos and additional information about the Single in Stilettos shows, click here.

For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.

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